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Interesting Conversations 18

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=Little known fact - Teachers can be informative and crazy! (even more so when your major is Library Science) =

El Professor: I am your teacher. Don't call me doctor, after 30 years I'm over that. I answer to Charlie or El Professor, but never to "Honey, do the dishes."

El Professor: Well that's it. Any questions? [scilence] Oh come on someone must have questions.
Leo: What's your middle name?
El Professor: ... Well I asked.

El Professor: Words can be very open to opinion. For example what do you think that the word tipping means? I imagine that you are thinking about restraunts and waiters.
Most of the Class: Cows.
El Professor: Cows? What?
Matt: It's a game for people who are bored and live near farms.
El Professor: ???
Elise: They go out at night and startle the cows and just...
El Professor: Tip them over? How does that work?
Elise: Haven't you ever seen Cars? Granted they are tractors in the film not cows but- [notices the confused look on his face.] Seriously? You have no clue?
El Professor: None... moving on.

El Professor: I have checked all the links so the website should work now, but since dealing with the web requires a healthy respect for the Forces of Darkness, for goodness sake somebody email me if something isn't working.

El Professor: One of the fathers of cataloging is William Frederick Poole. (pulls up a picture on the overhead screen) Got to love the facial hair.  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wil…

El Professor: Anthony Panizzi; another father of cataloging. This is the guy you can fall back on if your family is unimpressed by your decision to become a librarian. In 1869 he was knighted by Queen Victoria for his extraordinary services as a librarian.

El Professor: Once upon a time a bunch of people got together and wrote up a big long list of rules for how to catalog books and a librarian named Andrew Osborn said "Dudes this is never gonna work." Well he didn't say it like that, this was the 19th century but you get the idea.

Professor Andrews: Half way through the day we will have a lunch brake and you can all make merry with your wonderful goodies.
Me: I have never had a Scottish born teacher before… this should be interesting

Professor Andrews: I was going to say something meaningful and I forgot what it was.

Professor Andrews: How often does the amount of information on the internet increase
Elsie: New information or old information repeated?
Professor: Ohhhh. Now that is a can of worms we will open and dissect later.

Professor Andrews: You have cheese and crackers?
Lara: Yeah I'm trying to eat healthy.
Professor: Healthy? Please forgive me but no food, healthy or not, should be that color.

Paul: I believe that research is very very important I never say anything unless I can name several research papers that can support me!
Professor Andrews: …You will never get a job at a Newspaper.


=Little known fact – My friends are crazy by choice not by genetics (mostly)=

Josh: A haiku:

Turn on the TV

Dick Cheney on CNN

Right back off again

Katie: I was selling Larabars at work today and I had to cut each bar into little cubes for sampling. Inevitably I started making Tetris shapes out of the cubes and humming the Tetris song as I waited for customers.
Me: I'd buy some of those.

Abby: (writing out a list of what color yarn she has) I have red yarn, purple yarn, black, white, little blue-
Me: Light blue, where?
Abby: There.
Me: Abby, that's turquoise.
Abby: Shut up. I can't spell turquoise so it's light blue.

Katie: Upon investigating the little giggling sounds and swooshing crashing noises from the next room, I discover that my dad is playing Angry Birds on his Slate. I don't know whether to be horrified or amused!

Abby: So my uncle thinks I'm gay.
Me: What? How'd he draw that conclusion?
Abby: I don't wear enough dresses and don't have a boyfriend.
Me: Oh please.
Abby: I know. Hasn't he ever heard of tomboys?
Me: Tomboys don't exist anymore. These days you are either a girly girl or a lesbian. No in-between.

(At knitting club) Abby: I don't want to knit a hummingbird.
Me: K.
(5 min later)
Abby: I'm gonna knit a bunny.
Me: K.
(5 min later)
Abby: I'm bored. I don't want to knit a bunny.
Me: You are very ADD tonight.
Abby: I am ADD, so I am always ADD… I'm gonna knit a hummingbird.

Abby: I learned most of what I know about sex from romance novels.
Me: Same here. The 'sex talk' I got from my mom was just the bare minimum of information. "This goes there and that comes out."
Abby: Hahahaha

Sean: (on Facebook) Please post this as your status if you know someone who has been eaten by Reavers and is now the hood ornament of a Reaver ship. 85% of people won't copy this as their status because they have no idea what a Reaver is; 10% will start speaking Chinese or say something profound like, "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you"; and 5% will start singing "The Hero of Canton"
Me: The man they call Jaaaaanye!

Me: We're lost!
Abby: We're not lost, we just took the wrong turn… twice… the point is we aren't lost, we're just stupid.
Me: And that's better?
Abby: …yes.

Josh: I wonder what else I can put cream cheese on.


=Little known fact – My family is crazy due completely to genetics. =

(Text from my mom while she was camping) : We forgot the toothpaste! We had to trade a hipster wine for toothpaste.

Mom: So how was your sleepover?
Me: We got crazy drunk and burned down the house.
Mom: Did you feed the dog first?

My sister: (Throws down an English textbook in frustration.) Do you think Shakespeare will ever die?
Me: A man who has been quoted by everyone from kings to presidents to Klingons…. I'd say he's in for the long haul.

Mom: My Tai-chi instructor is in a Jazz band and they're playing a gig. Wanna go see?

My sister (in the car): Why is the guy in front of us going so slow!?!??!
Me: He's going the speed limit. Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?

My sister: I want a tattoo. Can I get a tattoo?
Mom: You can't get one till you turn 18 it's illegal before that.
My sister: You can get one when you're 16 if you have a parents permission.
Mom: No.
My sister: DON'T YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH!?!?!?!?!

My sister: (to mom) It's all your fault I'm fat!
Mom: You're not fat.
My sister: Yes I am! And it's all your fault. Why didn't you get me into running when I was little? Why didn't you ever take me with you when you went jogging?
Mom: I did, you hated it. You refused to go anymore.
My sister: SO?! You should have made me. Then I would have learned to suffer through it and now I'd have an amazing body but nooooo you couldn't be a good mom and now I'm Fat!
Dad: Oh please.

Mom: I have learned something backpacking: Hostels are filled with young European men. I swear this hostel we stayed at was filled with 20 something boys from Europe having adventures. The Aussie was really cute. The Swede not bad either.


=Little known fact – I attract craziness=

Me: I'm making a list - Stuff that you find when you really clean out those back corners of your desk drawers; College acceptance letters, my high school diploma, a coupon for a local restraint that expired in 07 and a picture of my parents from the 1980s. Holy Hell the Hair!!!

Usher: Ladies and Gentlemen please fill every seat in the audience! Don't leave gaps, think of it as Human Tetris! Or Human Minesweeper, search for the empty seats.

Me: (drinking tea. Look into my tea cup.) That looks like a bug…. That is a bug. >_<

Dave: Wow that electric stapler almost took my hand off and I didn't notice.
Me: That reminds me of something that happened in the woodshop once.
Rick: Oh I don't want to hear this!
Me: There are no saws
Rick: Oh good
Me: It was a nail gun. The teacher was supposed to show us how to properly use the nail gun but he wasn't watching what he was doing and he's just going along telling us what to do and we aren't listening to a damn thing he saying cause he's got a nail sticking out of his hand and hasn't noticed yet.
My teachers are even crazier then my friends... or maybe it just seems that way since it's been so long since I've seen any teachers.

Part 1 [link]

Part 2 [link]

Part 3 [link]

Part 4 [link]

Part 5 [link]

Part 6 [link]

Part 7 [link]

Part 8 [link]

Part 9 [link]

Part 10 [link]

Part 11 [link]

Part 12 [link]

Part 13 [link]

Part 14 [link]

Part 15 [link]

Part 16 [link]

Part 17 [link]

Part 18 [link]

Part 19 [link]

Part 20 [link]

Part 21 [link]

Part 22 [link]

Part 23 [link]

Part 24 [link]

Part 25 [link]

Part 26 [link]

The Best One-liners of Interesting Conversations. [link]
© 2011 - 2024 ryu-ren
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Fyrebyrdgoddess's avatar
You know idiots like that are why I am afraid of power tools