) Me and Animals (
Me: Today I discovered that the dog likes to curl up under my desk and nap when I'm not using it. This is why nothing ever works on/near my desk, because she gets tangled up in the cords under the desk and unplugs everything.
Katie: I had a dream last night that all of the raptors at Nature's Ed were speaking Japanese and were basically like, character stereotypes. The red-tailed hawk was the stalwart serious one, the Harris' hawk was the mischievous prankster and the kestrel was the adorable high-pitched sweet one. XD. The best part was when Zephyr said, "Katie-san...ano...daisuke!" >////<
Sean: And the newest hit anime... Hawk High!
Jovian: I will stab you Sean.
Sean: Only if it is with your Hawk High fanboy talon gloves...
Jovian: Fine! How much?
Sean: Eh, for you. 20 bucks.
Actually no, 15. I still owe you five bucks.
Katie: A man in the store today was yelling at me (that's right, yelling) about how I should know the difference between a tortoise and a turtle. ;_; He brought in a wild box turtle and I really wasn't sure what it was because box turtles have most of the characteristics of a tortoise. I BETTER LEARN MY REPTILE FACTS FAST. Before a fist fight ensues somewhere along the line.
Shiloh: Hey now! Somebody should tell that guy that just because you bring in a turtle doesn't mean you get to have the cantankerous personality of a turtle.
Brian: I could kick his ass.............just saying
Katie: That would probably be a fight worth watching, this guy was really huge. XD
Sean: That's why you should always carry a hatchet, blood capsules, and alka seltzer. Makes it so much easier to deal with assholes. Never had to use mine, but it's always nice to know that they're with in reach. ^___^ First pop in the blood capsule, then sneak in the alka seltzer after it. Blood foaming from your mouth, pull out the hatchet while smiling your best customer service smile. Works every time ^^
Gabrielle: I vote we let Brian at him.
Brian: Actually I like the idea Sean has.
Me: Sean you frighten me a little bit, I’m all for that idea too. But what is
the difference between a turtle and a tortoise?
Marco: A turtle, unlike a tortoise, has the ability to become a sewer dwelling ninja under the teachings of a talking rat.
Me: Thank you, Marco. See Katie all you have to do to figure out if it is a turtle is offer it pizza!
) Me and Friends (
Levi: I want a DnD spell that can spawn kitchen furniture. That way, there is a chance that I could spawn a counter above an enemy, and when it falls on them and they go squish, I can say "Ha! Counter Spell! Muhahaha!"
Gabrielle: I absolutely loathe 'petnames'. Hon, honey, babe, baby, sugar, doll...any guy (who is not my boyfriend) that uses one of those on me gets ONE warning. Then it gets physical.
Katie: Pff. I will never ever allow anyone ever to call me babe. Josh is not even allowed to do that one. XD
Gabrielle: Would you let him say “YOU'RE ONE DYNAMITE GAL!”
Alex: (checking her phone) Don isn’t coming over right now cause he’s in the shower. And it’d be bad if he came over now and traumatized us four girls.
Kalab: What about me? I don’t need to see my best friend naked!!!
Levi: (upstairs, only heard the last part of the conversation) What!?
Don: (after hearing the whole story) Traumatized?! (deeply offended)
Levi: I’m not wearing pants.
Levi: I’m wearing shorts.
Me: Those count as pants.
Levi: No they don’t.
Me: They’re not short shorts so they count as pants.
Levi: No, my knees are exposed.
Kaleb: Gasp! Levi you slut!
Me: Saw an ad in a magazine for a series of dresses for 6 year olds. They had long, very full skirts. The tagline was “So Twirlable” I don’t care if that’s not a word I wanna be 6 again!
Katie: When I was little, I would only wear skirts, and when my mom took me somewhere to buy one, it would have to pass my "twirlablity" check. It's very important. >:3
Katie: Hoo boy, we really need to reorganize this refrigerator.... we need Peter.
Josh: Yeah we do.
Katie:...Wait! Let's be honest here there is no reason why two mature consenting adults can't clean a freaking refrigerator.
Josh: ...............We need Peter.
Josh: I figured it was time for me to bite the bullet, or pizza as it were.
) Me and Family (
Mom: Your brother had an epiphany.
Me: Do tell.
Mom: Brennan helped our retired neighbors carry a table from one house to the house next door. Fran and Dale, and Barb and Mark each have one child, now grown. He saw their beautiful back yards with the koi ponds, the amazing modern art and the fine furniture. He came home and told your sister about it. He saw our messy vegetable garden, our art from Pier1, our child dented furniture and he said "Oh my God Rian! It's our fault!" She laughed and said "I know!"
Meg: I was just saying hello to Sam, I haven’t seen him in years.
Me: How is he?
Meg: Good. He was having lunch with his partner.
Me: Partner as in “business partner” or as in “own a two bedroom house and one room is vacant partner?”
Meghan: Wow, so "sorry I didn’t answer the phone I had diarrhea" is not the text you want to receive from a sibling after having an upset stomach all day.
) Me and TV (
Katie: So Pacific Rim is probably just the most fun movie ever. Think Hellboy combined with Evangelion combined with Independence Day. I loved it!
*Reactions to How to Train Your Dragon 2
Katie: AFGLIGRGNRGKJ THIS TRAILER CAUSED SO MANY ENDORPHINS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.
Natalie: AAAAAHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT!!!!
Me: I wanna a Dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew: At first I was like, awesome! HTTYD sequel! *watch* ... NOW I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!
My mission: Get my little sister addicted to BBC Sherlock.
Text from sister: Started watching Sherlock
Text from sister: You are right, it’s fucking hilarious.
Text from me: I know. ☺
Text from sister: OMG. Naked!
Text from me: Got to “A Scandal in Bohemia” I take it?
Text from sister: WTF!!!!!
Text from sister: How the eff is Sherlock dead? There can’t be a third season without him!!!!
Text from sister: Oh wait. Nevermind
Mission Outcome: Success.
(Later) Text from Mom: I don’t care if you’re both addicted to Sherlock, just please don't refer to yourself as a Cumberbitch.