Interesting Conversations 4

My dad was present when a Judge told this story:

A couple of guys robbed a bank and were caught in the act and brought before the judge to set their bail, the judge set bail at $100,000 and told them if they put up 10% cash they would be let out. The judge then asked if they had $10,000 cash to post bail. One bank robber said

"Judge, if I had $10,000 I wouldn't have been robbing the bank!"

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Professor Pomroy (explaining to the class why he is in a bad mood.): "Now the music student's sometimes use my class room to rehearse in before classes, so I sometimes have to ask them to leave so I can start class. This morning as one of the trumpet players is packing up he turns to me and asks me if I could "Do" something about my students. I'm just standing over here moving metal pipes around and I look up and say "What?"

And he starts telling me about how they love using my class room to rehearse and they don't mind leaving when I come in at 10:00, but sometimes my students come 10-15 minutes early and disrupt them.

All my students are waving at him to shut up and the other people practicing can't get out of that room fast enough. Mostly because they have all realized two things.

I'm standing here with 50 pounds of rolled steel in my hand and this kid is giving me a lecture about how he doesn't like my students coming to class."

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Home Sweet Home

My brother was psyched about playing Lacrosse against Ridgemont. He said "We're playing the criminals." Seems Ridgemont is a charter school for kids who have been locked in juvenile detention centers. When he got back from the game this is what he said: "They won. They are bad lacrosse players but they used their sticks as weapons. Beat the shit out of us"

MaryAnn: (about her son): "I'm afraid John will get shot if he goes to South High School."
My Brother (who goes to South High): "No MaryAnn, East High is where he will get shot. South is where he will get stabbed."


"Good morning."
"Nice hand writing, oh my finger"
- written in the snow outside Walgreens

Jack is playing the part of "Mr. Manningham" in the play Gaslight screams "Bella!" on stage during a performance.
Clive (backstage): "Do they live in London or Drover, cause I think Jack just fell of a cliff."

Meg: *throwing herself against the bathroom wall* "Life is life is life is life is happy happy happy!"*ching, clunk* Meg: "Oww."

Professor Pomroy: "Why does everybody think if I'm told I'm wrong, I'll flip out?"
Amy: "Cause you're an adult male."

Me: (about Professor Holman) "His idea of teaching is to tell us to do something then disappear for 2 hours then come back and tell us what we did wrong."
My Friend: "Well that's not to different from what real life is like so just deal with it."
Me: "But he's a jerk and an idiot."
My Friend: "Sadly that is also something you will need to just deal with."

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Asked my mom if she can remember anything funny from when I was little and I got this;

My brother Brennan, when he was 5, heard my mom talking to the neighbor who was describing a near death experience and seeing a white light and people he knew from his past that had died.

Brennan leaned over and whispered, "Was Elvis there?"


When I was 7 I was at the park with my mom and dad when we saw a bunch of joggers go by.
Me: Dad, don't you wish you had muscles?
Dad: (in a high pitched indignant voice) I have muscles!


When I was 5 years old I was watching a cartoon when one of the girls kicked a guy between the legs. I asked my mom why the guy had made such a bit fuss about it, and she said. "Honey there is one place you are not supposed to kick a man, unless he is trying to steal your purse, or hurt you, or he refuses to do the dishes."

The look on my dad's face was priceless.

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At the water park.

My sister and her friend walk up laughing and talking.
Me: "What's up?"
My sister: "We just saw this really hot guy who was flirting with us."
Me: "Where is he?"
Sister's friend: Over there- wait he's gone."
My sister: "Oh no."
Me: "What did he look like?"
My sister: "He had sunglasses and a red swimsuit."
Little 60 year old guy walking past us in sunglasses and a red swimsuit: "Eh?"